There is a house not far from here
where everything is just as it should be.
Love and Respect are the parents
and their children are Peace and Serenity.
Auntie Gratitude and Uncle Abundance
are allowed to stay as long as they would like.
There are times cousin Fear knocks on the door
but turned away polite.
Granny Wisdom and Papa Truth
Live in the house too
They enjoy the company of Big Brother Laughs
and Sister Positive Attitude.
They do have a neighbor
named Mr. Doubt
Who only complains
When Mrs. Believe is out
She sometimes has lunch with Ms. Possibility
They like to discuss the meaning of life
Over cake, pie, or even coffee
Each and every evening
On each and every day
The family gets together to honor
Old Mother Pray
She passed long ago
But her lessons still remain
All the rules to "Home Sweet Home"
are very simple and plain.
"If you treat others,
Better than you treat yourself,
The universe unfolds for you
all of it's wealth."
This is the motto
of the close community
and when I look at them, I say to myself,
"This is how I want MY world to be!"
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The Queen of Kings
The Queen of Kings
My girlfriend is 9 months pregnant with her first born. What a joyous time. To see my friend bubble with excitement over baby shoes and room decor takes me back to my first pregnancy. The nervousness of becoming a mommy, wanting everything to be perfect, I also took lots of pictures and journaled the entire experience.
As we are getting closer to her due date, I came up to bless her with the infamous "before you go into labor braids" that signals to me that she is really ready to have this baby. When I got here she told me she had an appointment at a place called, Tiny Portraits and wanted me to join her for a look inside the womb. As I watched my niece appear on the screen and so adorable and sweet, my curiosity peeked, I wanted to see the life living in me.
I thought I wanted a surprise at birth. To experience that moment after 10 months of pregnancy and hours of labor, my husband announcing to me..."it's a ....". I thought I could endure the next few months of curiosity all while family, friends, and strangers asked again and again... "What are you having?". I couldn't.
The practitioner turned to me and asked, "Are you next?" to which I spontaneously replied, "YES". My husband was not there so I texted him to make sure it was ok with him. He texted back, Go For It! And so I did.
As I lied down on the table I knew that this was the final moment of mystery. I prepared myself by letting myself let go in that moment of any attachment to boy or girl. I took a deep breath as she put the jelly on my belly. The screen lit up and there appeared a penis. The first glimpse of my child was his legs spread wide and a third shorter leg indicating to me that... I Am Man, Mommy."
My friend asked immediately if I was ok knowing my strong desire to have a daughter of my own. (I have many from others). I nodded because I was ok. I was so happy to be meeting my little king. I am already the very proud mother of two boys and he completes the trinity of my Queendom. I am the Queen of Kings ready to rule the world.
Powers was so happy for me to see him too, turning toward the light to make sure I got a good look at his face. He was so handsome and delicious. He danced and waved, kicked and turned. He put on a show for me and I loved every moment of it.
This day allowed me to begin to bond with my son, Powers, instead of fantasizing about pink and bows. I am happy to give my husband a son and maybe next year he will return the favor.
Follow me on twitter.com/ministajazz
My girlfriend is 9 months pregnant with her first born. What a joyous time. To see my friend bubble with excitement over baby shoes and room decor takes me back to my first pregnancy. The nervousness of becoming a mommy, wanting everything to be perfect, I also took lots of pictures and journaled the entire experience.
As we are getting closer to her due date, I came up to bless her with the infamous "before you go into labor braids" that signals to me that she is really ready to have this baby. When I got here she told me she had an appointment at a place called, Tiny Portraits and wanted me to join her for a look inside the womb. As I watched my niece appear on the screen and so adorable and sweet, my curiosity peeked, I wanted to see the life living in me.
I thought I wanted a surprise at birth. To experience that moment after 10 months of pregnancy and hours of labor, my husband announcing to me..."it's a ....". I thought I could endure the next few months of curiosity all while family, friends, and strangers asked again and again... "What are you having?". I couldn't.
The practitioner turned to me and asked, "Are you next?" to which I spontaneously replied, "YES". My husband was not there so I texted him to make sure it was ok with him. He texted back, Go For It! And so I did.
As I lied down on the table I knew that this was the final moment of mystery. I prepared myself by letting myself let go in that moment of any attachment to boy or girl. I took a deep breath as she put the jelly on my belly. The screen lit up and there appeared a penis. The first glimpse of my child was his legs spread wide and a third shorter leg indicating to me that... I Am Man, Mommy."
My friend asked immediately if I was ok knowing my strong desire to have a daughter of my own. (I have many from others). I nodded because I was ok. I was so happy to be meeting my little king. I am already the very proud mother of two boys and he completes the trinity of my Queendom. I am the Queen of Kings ready to rule the world.
Powers was so happy for me to see him too, turning toward the light to make sure I got a good look at his face. He was so handsome and delicious. He danced and waved, kicked and turned. He put on a show for me and I loved every moment of it.
This day allowed me to begin to bond with my son, Powers, instead of fantasizing about pink and bows. I am happy to give my husband a son and maybe next year he will return the favor.
Follow me on twitter.com/ministajazz
Monday, October 3, 2011
My Powers: A Mother's Awakening
My growing belly has been a source of joy and pain in these past few months. I have been less than sexy while vomiting, waddling, and in my case spitting. The last time I was pregnant was over 11 years ago and approximately 7 weeks after my at home pregnancy test I remembered way I waiting so long. Pregnancy can suck!
11 years ago I was just turning 20, pregnant with my second child, single, and broke. On top of those minor inconveniences, I was terribly sick, extremely uncomfortable, and depressed. It was a lonely time. I was disappointed in myself and unhappy about my perceived future.
Now, years later, I have two amazing sons, a beautiful stepdaughter, a loving husband, career success, and supportive friends and family. I am happy, healthy, and aware, I have chosen to have a natural at home birth with a midwife. I feel confident about my future and I am in love with life.
The problem: The previous paragraph is only what I realize between the bouts of aches, pains, and discomforts of being pregnant. Approximately 70% of my day I am complaining (if my mouth isn't full of spit) and miserable. I don't enjoy being what feels like "fat" especially since for the last 6 years I have been working hard to stay trim and slim. Besides the fact that my breast are the size of someones head, my thighs are touching and I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without wheezing. I don't feel attractive and my glow seems to radiate for everyone except me. In my own mirror I just don't see it.
Problem two: I am extremely horny. What in the world?! I don't understand this at all. I mean the time in my life that I feel the least attractive, I want the most sex. I want my husband to caress and kiss me all over and make love to me multiple times a day. But lately I notice that even he is "turned off" by consistent state of UNCOMFORTABLE. In the mornings I notice he gets out of bed with a full agenda before I can roll over and attack. Poor thing... I don't blame him, smh.
Usually all of this would drive me mad. I feel the urge to cry every time I see some cute and shiny young woman bouncing down the street with her shinny jeans on and a tank top with no need for bra. My green eyes beamed at ladies in sexy high heels and a small waistline. I nearly ran over one girl as she pranced across the street with her booty shorts and iPod showing off her sculpted thighs. I came close but I didn't.
What did happen was my Powers kicked. My baby (Powers) rolled in my tummy and reminded me that I am the only woman in the entire world that would ever have the opportunity to hold her, to nurture her, to be one with her in this very intimate way. All of the envy that consumed me just moments before left my mind and I was filled with tremendous joy. I felt my "Powers" and I was blessed by her presence. I am chosen. I am special. I am unique.
That moment trumped every pain, ache, or discomfort. Every feeling of unattractiveness or loneliness melted into nothingness and I experienced bliss. Today I am what no slim, trim, skinny jean wearing, no-titty having woman would never be... I am the Mother of Powers Abundant.
I will get my body back next year but as for now, I am enjoying the fabulous vessel for Powers that I am today!
Follow me on twitter.com/ministajazz
11 years ago I was just turning 20, pregnant with my second child, single, and broke. On top of those minor inconveniences, I was terribly sick, extremely uncomfortable, and depressed. It was a lonely time. I was disappointed in myself and unhappy about my perceived future.
Now, years later, I have two amazing sons, a beautiful stepdaughter, a loving husband, career success, and supportive friends and family. I am happy, healthy, and aware, I have chosen to have a natural at home birth with a midwife. I feel confident about my future and I am in love with life.
The problem: The previous paragraph is only what I realize between the bouts of aches, pains, and discomforts of being pregnant. Approximately 70% of my day I am complaining (if my mouth isn't full of spit) and miserable. I don't enjoy being what feels like "fat" especially since for the last 6 years I have been working hard to stay trim and slim. Besides the fact that my breast are the size of someones head, my thighs are touching and I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without wheezing. I don't feel attractive and my glow seems to radiate for everyone except me. In my own mirror I just don't see it.
Problem two: I am extremely horny. What in the world?! I don't understand this at all. I mean the time in my life that I feel the least attractive, I want the most sex. I want my husband to caress and kiss me all over and make love to me multiple times a day. But lately I notice that even he is "turned off" by consistent state of UNCOMFORTABLE. In the mornings I notice he gets out of bed with a full agenda before I can roll over and attack. Poor thing... I don't blame him, smh.
Usually all of this would drive me mad. I feel the urge to cry every time I see some cute and shiny young woman bouncing down the street with her shinny jeans on and a tank top with no need for bra. My green eyes beamed at ladies in sexy high heels and a small waistline. I nearly ran over one girl as she pranced across the street with her booty shorts and iPod showing off her sculpted thighs. I came close but I didn't.
What did happen was my Powers kicked. My baby (Powers) rolled in my tummy and reminded me that I am the only woman in the entire world that would ever have the opportunity to hold her, to nurture her, to be one with her in this very intimate way. All of the envy that consumed me just moments before left my mind and I was filled with tremendous joy. I felt my "Powers" and I was blessed by her presence. I am chosen. I am special. I am unique.
That moment trumped every pain, ache, or discomfort. Every feeling of unattractiveness or loneliness melted into nothingness and I experienced bliss. Today I am what no slim, trim, skinny jean wearing, no-titty having woman would never be... I am the Mother of Powers Abundant.
I will get my body back next year but as for now, I am enjoying the fabulous vessel for Powers that I am today!
Follow me on twitter.com/ministajazz
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